I have been working on the upcoming DragonsBlood line, and at some point, I wrote the following. I decided it was too long to put in the product descriptions, but I figured I'd post it here, as some of you may find it entertaining.
For those of you that don't find it entertaining, here's a sneak peek at one of the new garments!
Dragons; An unnecessary tale:
Many eons ago, dragons roamed the earth. (EDITORIAL DISCLAIMER: Seriously?) Don’t start with me. I’ve seen proof. (ED: Was it “proof”? Are you sure it wasn’t “nothing”?) Yes, I’m sure! Their bones are in museums and everything! (E.D.: Those are dinosaurs. You’re thinking of dinosaurs.) Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense.
Many eons ago, dragons didn’t roam the earth, but if they were real they would have! (E.D.: Let’s just let her have this one.) They would have lived in caves and hoarded diamonds and gold. Their flamey-breath-flames would have burned entire villages to ground, leaving nothing but decrepit, singed remains of former glory. Their shadowy silhouettes could be seen gliding across mountaintops as they flew above, soaring with unparalleled grace and elegance and poise. Their stunning wings would shimmer in the light, and their eyes would strike an unmatched fear in those plucky enough to look them in the eye (E.D.: I like to think she’s going somewhere here…). They would have sparred each other in kung-fu to see who the strongest among them was, to see who among them was to be their ruler! (E.D.: I don’t think dragons could perform any kind of martial arts…)
And, time after time, one dragon reigned supreme. (E.D.: When did this stop being hypothetical?) Her name is Oblirrian (E.D.: What?) and she has more strength and intellect than all other dragons combined! (E.D.: How is this present-tense now?) A drop of her blood is in each of these garments (E.D.: That sounds so unsanitary. You guys know that’s not true, right?) and with her blood guarding you, you are safe from all misfortune, and gory and riches shall find their way to you! (E.D.: Not even close. Not even close.)
…Please buy some clothes…
~Love, Silhouette.
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